Lemon Loaf
''HOLD THE BUCKING PHONE'' WHO THE HELL IS THIS DIPSHIT HERE? WHO THE HELL IS THIS DIPSHIT HERE? I'LL TELL YOU WHO IT IS: IT'S FUCKING LEMON LOAF THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS MORE SWAG STORED IN HIS LEFT FOREHOOF THAN YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO OBTAIN IN A MILLION ETERNITIES SWAGRID BETTER STEP THE FUCK DOWN PEOPLE ARE ALL "hey dude you should like ponies your own age" BUT WHAT DOES LOAF DO HE WRITES HUGE ASS WALL OF TEXT RANTS AND DEBATES FOR FOUR HOURS ABOUT HOW HALF OF THE PONY FANDOM WANTS TO DICK CARTOON HORSES AND HIS CHARACTER IS ENTIRELY FICTIONAL AND ENDS IT WITH THE EQUIVALENT OF "EAT MY DINGLEBERRIES, BITCH" AND THEN HIS PENIS FELL OFF AND HE BECAME A GIRL LETS SEE YOU DEBATE WITH A SINGLE PERSON FOR FOUR HOURS OVER CARTOON HORSES AND WHY A CHARACTER HAVING A CERTAIN TRAIT IS FINE AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T SHARE SAID TRAIT OH WAIT, YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A HIKKIKOMORI NEET OUT OF CHARACTER WHO HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TALK TO OTHER LIKE MINDED LOSERS ON A MUMBLE VOIP SERVER AND CREEP PEOPLE OUT ON /OAT/ YEAH A LOT OF GOOD THAT MINIMUM WAGE JOB FLIPPING SHITBURGERS AT MCDONALDS IS NOW, FAGGOT LOOK AT THAT FUCKING SHIT. LOAF DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK. EVERY DAY HE BLOOMING RAIN? BLOOMING SUNSHINE? BLOOMING OCCUPY WALL STREET? OCCUPY APPLE BLOOM'S ARMS, MORE LIKE CATEGORY 600 HURRICANE DECIMATING HALF THE PLANET? LOAF'S IN HIS BEDROOM TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT PONIES AND DISCUSSING HOW TERRIBLE THE NINTENDO WII'S SELECTION OF GAMES IS "BUT IT'S WRONG TO ROLEPLAY A CHARACTER THAT'S IN LOVE WITH A FOAL!" YOU KNOW WHAT THE LOAF WOULD SAY? GO FUCK YOURSELF, THAT'S WHAT THEN HE'D RAPE APPLEBLOOM, IN FRONT OF YOU OKAY, MAYBE HE'D BE NICER. MAYBE NOT. DEPENDS ON WHETHER OR NOT HE'S ON HIS MAN PERIOD WE'VE GOT MASS MURDERERING ALICORNS, KINKY MASOCHISTIC RARITY TUMBLRS, PEOPLE THAT WOULD GENUINELY GIVE A PURPLE UNICORN A HOT DICKING IF THEY GOT THE CHANCE (<3), A WELL LIKED INTERPRETATION OF THE PRINCESS/SUN GODDESS OF EQUESTRIA AS A FUCKING SERIAL RAPIST, AND SOMEHOW POTRAYING A CHARACTER THAT GENUINELY LOVES AND CARES FOR WHO HAPPENS TO BE A FILLY IS WRONG? GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU DOUBLE STANDARD HOLDING PISSTANK BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT SHIT, BACK TO THE LOAF WHAT'S HIS SPECIAL TALENT? RETAIL, MOTHERFUCKER WHAT KIND OF STORE? COMIC BOOK SHOP, MOTHERFUCKER WANT TO BUY SOME COMICS? GO FUCK YOURSELF, THE LOAF'S ASLEEP "Why's it 6:30? It was 4:00 a while ago!" - THE LOAF LOAF DOESN'T NEED A GOOD SENSE OF TIME DURATION. HE'S ASLEEP MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE IF HE WAS AWAKE MORE OFTEN ALL OF EQUESTRIA WOULD BEGIN TEARING AT THE SEAMS DUE TO THE IMMENSE SWAGGER RADIATING FROM THIS MOTHERFUCKER GIRLFRIEND LEFT YOU? BOO HOO, FUCKER. GONNA GO CUT YOURSELF? PULL A LOAF, DROWN YOURSELF IN WHISKEY WHILE LOOPING THE SAME FAIRLY GENERIC POP PUNK SONG FOR THE ENTIRE AFTERNOON DOES THAT MAKE LEMON PATHETIC? NO, FUCK THAT. HE'S SIMULTANEOUSLY DEALING WITH DEPRESSION, TAKING CARE OF HIS DAUGHTER, AND SHOVING HIS HOOF UP YOUR ASS FOR EVEN THINKING SUCH A THING YOU CAN'T STOP THE LOAF THE LOAF FUCKS FOALS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA "You can't stop the Loaf." - Lightning Bolt, shortly before being called a dumbass for taking the Loaf seriously. Category:Bronies Category:OC Category:Users Category:Awesome Users